I felt super tired today and slept once i reached home so didn’t get to get any work done. Good thing wednesdays are slack, like really slack. Ms seah started gp class with “I was thinking that today we will do… nothing!” So we did. She’s still an awesome teacher but it does make you worry for your future gp grades…

And i am unsure of the future. I’m more lost now than i’ve been in recent years. Everything in the future seems up in the air. I dunno what uni course i can qualify for, what job i can secure, what friends i will keep, what my whole life has in store for me. Make no mistake, i know what i want. But as the philosopher Jagger once said, you can’t always get what you want.

Reality bites down on you hard, and it is at this age when you emerge from the shell of the almighty Singapore education system and realise that you’re not prepared at all. Oh my mom actually noticed my uncertainty and recommended me a short sermon that she burned on a CD for me. That was nice haha. In fact i think God will be my only solution to this.

I used to have this impression that following God’s plan for your life takes all the fun out of it. You’ve only got one shot at life, why would you want to follow a walkthrough instead of playing the game and exploring every secret that life has to offer? But i’ve come to realise this: it’s exactly because you’ve only got one shot that you will want to follow the walkthrough. There’s no ‘last saved game’ to load.

And it’s not exactly restrictive either. I used to think that following a fixed plan, a certain ‘God’s will’, will suck the adventure out of life and kill it. Sure, there will probably be only one perfect course that God knows will fit you absolutely wonderfully perfectly, one perfect career path that was made for you, one perfect person you’re destined to fall in love with. But it’s navigating down that one perfect path, that’s an adventure in itself. God’s will is like a walkthrough you can only read one page at a time, which is pretty darn awesome cos i wouldn’t want to know how my life turns out before i live it.

Life is but an adventure, so i’m just gonna approach it headfirst and see what comes out of it. After all, uncertainty is just another word for adventure, right?

Okay no. Anyway this has been strangely therapeutic. I feel much better alr. Or maybe it’s the Glee. That was an awesome episode btw.